"She Stood" - an important re-posting from Lexistential

I don't re-post full blog posts very often, but this story Lexi shares is important. Just last week Tripped Up Daddy and I had some unexpected changes in our own lives, but it's nowhere near the level this family is enduring. Please read, act as able, and share!

She stood by Lexi Magnusson

I watched her as she stood. She stood. The congregation stood behind her, around her. She stood, so I did.

She stood, so I can.

Never in my life have I known someone who has been through so much and was able to stand. As I watched her, a feeling tore through me that I can't explain. A pain, to be sure, but an awe and a wonder. An awe that gripped me in my bones and said to me, "Do you know how fortunate you are to have this woman in your life? Do you know her strength? If she can stand through this, you can stand." And then the feeling pushed further, "Tell her story and give her a chance to rest."

I have been friends with Kelli for over a decade now. Their family moved in across the street from us shortly after we had moved to Washington. Her two daughters babysat for me on occasion, our oldest boys were best friends and she was pregnant with her second son when I was pregnant with Peyton. She was there for me when I was pregnant with Abby. I'll never forget watching her drag baby supplies across the street for me, or how she was there for me when Abby was born, and was as enamored with her as everyone else.

I remember Kelli walking to my door that bright afternoon. "Guess what?" She said, "I got in a car accident yesterday!" "Oh my gosh! You're kidding me! Are you okay?" "Yes, they had to do some x-rays on my my knee...in order to do so, I had to take a pregnancy test. I'm pregnant. I find out the gender tomorrow!" She didn't look pregnant. She didn't think she was. She thought she was in early menopause.   Her baby was a girl, and we excitedly spoke of the friendship she and Abby would have after we got back from our stint on the east coast.  Her whole life now was turned upside down. The distance between her oldest daughter and her youngest would be 20 years.

Kamryn was born and for the first couple of weeks she was the same kind of infant as any of their other four kids. On Christmas eve of 2011, as Kelli was changing her diaper, she noticed Kamryn's feet were cold. After a long series of twists and turns (you can read it all on her blog, here), several months in the hospital, this tiny baby would eventually have to have a heart transplant.  If you've been reading my blog for the last couple of years, you may remember her story from way back when. You may have even donated to the fundraiser we did to help pay for all of the expenses they had at this time. If you remember, right before Kamryn was born, both Mike and Kelli had been laid off from their jobs.

Mike was able to get back to work, but Kelli had to stay home to care for Kamryn. It was more than a stretch on their finances, but through it all, Kelli stood.

In the years since, there have been graduations, a marriage and even a new grandbaby.  Kamryn's health is fragile as she is on a lot of medications to keep her body from rejecting her heart, and to keep it beating. I'm more than sure Kelli hasn't slept through the night. They've had countless doctors visits, procedures, med changes, physical therapist appointments, etc. Last fall, Kamryn once again was admitted to the hospital very, very sick.  She had the flu, and an infection they couldn't quite pin down. While there, Kamryn had a heart attack.  Once again, this brave little girl rebounded. As always, Kelli stood.

Through it all, Kelli has had the sweet support of her husband, Mike.  He's stood with her.

January came along with the news of her second to oldest daughter's engagement to a wonderful man.  Wedding planning began and the next Saturday they were excited to visit venues for the happy day.  Plans were put on hold. Mike died that morning of a heart attack.

There, in the packed church singing songs of faith as we remembered this wonderful man, Kelli stood. She stood and sung along. From the row across from hers, the strength I felt from her was almost palpable.  She stood and held her daughter as Kamryn pointed to a large picture of Mike and exclaimed, "That's my Daddy!"

The memorial was amazing because Mike was amazing. He was a great father, provider and support to Kelli. He was so loved by his church, his family and his community. He was a man of great faith and has raised five amazing kids.  I loved what one speaker said, "We know he's in a better place, and that's great, but I want him back here now."   We all do.

I've told you only a small portion of Kelli's story. I wish there was space for all of it. To adequately explain how amazing it is that she stands after years of sleepless nights, endless worry, and unfathomable loss. How amazing she is that not only does she stand, but she stands strong. She laughs, she works, she gives. She does and does for others.

I've told you her story, now I need your help in letting her rest.

They lost their soul provider. Kamryn's immune system still requires her to have constant care. There's a wedding this summer of a beautiful daughter who has just lost her dad. Their families and church has rallied hard to raise money. A Kickstarter has been made, but is not even quite to half the goal. I want to help get them to their goal of $25,000, which still isn't near what Mike would have earned this year. Will you help me?

The Kickstarter is here: http://www.gofundme.com/Helpmikesfamily.

Whether or not you can give, one of the biggest things you can do is SHARE. Share her story. Share it on your social networking pages, your blogs (feel free to copy and paste this in its entirety, I don't care). If you know people in the media, please share it with them. This family needs the help, and Kelli deserves the rest.

If nothing else, remember this woman, my hero. Know that if she can stand, so can you.

With all of my heart, thank you.

Lexistential

http://www.lexistential.com/2015/02/she-stood/

Santa brought Mrs. Claus breakfast in bed this Christmas Eve

Apparently there are benefits to being the only one who wraps gifts and stays up to the wee hours to do it. Who knew?

Enjoy the smiles! The photo challenges of families impacted by autism.

Photos and autistics do not go together like peas and carrots - at least not in my experience. School photos, while always getting the best look of Sunshine triplet (who NEVER takes a bad picture ever) are generally crap shoots for Princess and Angel triplets. Catching Princess triplet in a candid smiling photo is also ever elusive.

A super fun time at Christmas tree farm.

That's why when I come across photos like the candids shot by a teacher during a class field trip, I can't help but want to share them EVERYWHERE. It's a natural, smiling shot of Princess triplet with her looking straight into the lens - great eye contact. This almost NEVER happens and this slice of HAPPINESS is too good to hide.

I know I'm not the only one who struggles with photos, not just with trying to get the typical picture postcard photo that in my world is a pot of gold found via rainbow, but also with the whole expectation for even owning that type of photo. I have young triplets, two of them have autism. I have a huge age gap between my oldest and my youngest three children and no one in between. On good days, Tripped Up Daddy and I can look more like grandparents than just older parents, because, well, we're just plain tired. Everything about our family is a little, well, a little odd. We don't fit into a box and sometimes I think photographers have a really hard time knowing how to even start with us.

Trips at two

So when there's a nice candid shot that I love, I share. And to other families who are impacted by autism, I strongly suggest seeking out a photographer who can also be a friend in your little world. You can achieve fun, beautiful, and honest photos that capture the loving memories of your family, but I think you need a photographer that will sign up for the long haul of a long-term relationship with you to make that happen.

Family pic - 2010

The endless tries to get 3 posed
on a couch at 3 years old.

Check with your local autism support groups for recommendations, interview photographers, check with friends, interview again, ask if you can do a trial run to help your kiddos get used to the whole idea. If you find a photographer who will come to your home, where your family will feel the most comfortable, that is invaluable. NEVER lose that photographer's number.

Family pic - 2012

I'm lucky. I have Sandra Ellen who I attended college with. Photography is her business, I'm just lucky enough to also have a relationship with her and she gets my family. I never had to go out looking for just the right photographer, she was right there waiting for me to call her. You may not be that lucky, but trust me, it's worth so much to develop a great photographer relationship.

Trips at 4

Sunshine triplet - 4

Lotte - Senior pic

Princess triplet - 4

Angel triplet - 4

World Prematurity Day - 11-17

Triplets within the first two weeks after coming home from NICU

Did you know that 1 in 9 babies are born prematurely? Thankfully research and medical advances ensure many of these babies survive & receive the best possible care. Many go on to thrive, like our triplets who were born at 34 weeks and spent 2 weeks in NICU before coming home.

A recent snuggletime

Tomorrow our lovely ladies will turn six years old. There's no doubt when you add triplets, prematurity, speech and language delay, and autism (for two out of the three) all together you have a world of unexpected challenges, however, amidst the crazy, hectic life we lead, we are also surrounded by beauty and joy in triplicate.

On one day in 2008 our 3 person family became a 6 person family. We'd never want it any other way.

Our undying gratitude goes to the March of Dimes, Helen DeVos Children's Hospital, Spectrum Health Maternal Fetal Medicine and Baylor College - Texas Children's Hospital in Houston.

All four of our girls.

Everyday Confetti - Book Review

This year round guide to celebrating holidays and special occasions offers ideas and recipes for both major and minor events. Throughout its 12 chapters the authors, Karen Ehman and Glynnis Whitwer, provide readers with a constant stream of ways to integrate the Christian faith into daily life with fun and excitement.

The goal is to create lasting memories that instill Christian values into your children throughout their lives. Appropriately then, many of the holidays are from the traditional church calendar and those that originate from a secular origin are given a Christian slant. This is a book written by Christians and mostly meant to be used by those of the same belief system. The authors are connected with Proverbs 31 Ministries which has the mission to help women deepen their relationship with Jesus Christ.

An autism mom's thoughts

When I was provided this book by the publisher, Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group, I was specifically asked to review it from the perspective of a mom or family raising kids with autism. So as I was reading, I simply asked myself the following questions: Would this integrate well in our household? Do I know of other autism families that could utilize this idea? would it be worth it for an autism family to purchase this book? Is this particular idea enough? Are there enough ideas that could easily be implemented in an autism family?

The answer to most of those questions is a resounding MAYBE. While there are plenty of times the authors expressed that readers should adapt ideas to fit their own families (and gave examples on how they did just that themselves), there wasn't even a single example of a family with special needs considerations utilizing any of the ideas. So, if you do have kiddos with special needs, autism, developmental delays or any other similar challenges, you should plan on having to adapt nearly every idea to fit into your family's world. Of course, that in and of itself is not unusual for an autism family (or a family with twins, triplets or more for that matter), but it is a situation that gets old when it's constant. Sometimes it's just nice to have something actually FIT in your world. This book will not alleviate any of that frustration, in fact, it may simply add more. It is however a creative spark and if that's all the authors intended then they succeeded.

What I liked

1. An encouragement to live with intentionality

The authors say in the Forward, "Life goes by too quickly and at the end of the year we can look back and wish the simple moments had been celebrated more. We wish there'd been a few more pauses. We wish we'd made more opportunities to look into the eyes of someone we love and say, with words and actions, 'You matter. I value you.' ..."It's the little touches that say, 'I remembered.' It's celebrating effort. Rejoicing together in success. Supporting each other when discouraged. These are the times that weave our hearts together."

Personally I need constant reminders to live with intention. Why? My world is filled with managing occupational, ABA, and speech therapy appointments (times 2), constant mad dashes to pull something out of Angel triplet's mouth, countless trips to the potty that still end less than successfully (times 2), transitioning into a parent of an adult at the same time as parenting kindergartners, and all the other variables and levels of chaos that only an autism family with triplets could enjoy every day. Reflection and Intention fall victim to Survival and Urgency every single damn day. While a reminder to live with intentionality doesn't mean I will do so to the level I really desire, it does help me re-focus my mind at least for a while.

2. Celebrating dinnertime and birthdays

For me the first way of being intentional in honoring your family is by protecting and encouraging dinner around the table together. The tradition of eating together as a group brings about more than a tendency for healthier eating habits, it also provides a consistent opportunity for communication and support. Dinnertime was really important when I was growing up too and while I believe strongly in the concept, the actuality of it in my current family is less consistent than I like.

In the first chapter, the authors suggest some ways to celebrate each family member (both in a birthday situation and also just because) and it also elevates the dinnertime tradition at the same time. One of these that I really liked was having/using a Family Honor Plate that a family member would get to use at special times throughout the year (you choose the times). Use it as positive reinforcement for desired behaviors, the passing of milestones, or simply to say "We love that you're part of our family." Make the plate somehow special, you could even decorate it at one of those paint your own pottery places.

Another idea mentioned that's similar to the honor plate is to celebrate each family member on their own name day. Some names actually correspond to feast days and you can use that day as an honor day for that family member. There is an American calendar for name days as well, but if your family member's name isn't on it, just make up their own special name day.

There is a whole chapter devoted to birthdays which can be a difficult day to celebrate for many kids with autism. Delays in social awareness, communication and relationship building are common for many kids with autism, so birthday parties and other celebrations can be quite overwhelming and complicated to plan. In the birthday chapter, I found some ideas (like creating a special place mat or tablecloth with pictures of the family member to honor) could be easily used to make a special day a little more special without causing too much chaos. That's a huge win for an autism family.

3. Christmas evaluation

The authors propose a wonderful idea to help reduce the stress and craziness of the Christmas holiday season. They suggest a family meeting before the season begins. To do what? Simplify and make sure what you're doing is right for your family. You can help assign tasks and make sure everything you're doing is truly meaningful for your family. I am definitely doing this idea this year, because with one child at college, I know our holidays are undergoing a whole new perspective.

"Gather everyone around the kitchen table to answer questions about your family celebration. Encourage everyone to be honest with their responses and promise no hurt feelings. The goal is to discover your unique way of celebrating the holidays and help alleviate some of the Yuletide 'Yikes!'"

4. Trove of ideas

As I read through Everyday Confetti, I marked up the book - things I liked and things I didn't, questions, comments, sometimes I even carried on a conversation with the authors (well, one-sided anyway) and basically made the book my own. I went back and counted up the ideas I found interesting and potentially fun enough to figure out how to do in my own family. After counting up the "I want to try this" notations, I came up with 34 ideas which doesn't include any of the many yummy-sounding recipes. The book offers anywhere from 5 to 10+ recipes per chapter (and there are 12 chapters). So even for an autism family I found 34 ideas that I'm interested in exploring plus I know I will want to try some of the recipes. That's not too bad for a 182-page book.

What I didn't like

1. Narrow perspective

If you are hoping this book will broaden your perspective or horizons around holidays, you need to know it probably won't. It may provide new ideas, but always from within the same cultural perspective. What is that perspective, you ask? Well, I couldn't see that anything was coming from anywhere besides a nearly complete white bread, Protestant Christian, middle class, American, suburban to rural perspective overall. Okay, so yes, the Tripped Up Castle is filled to the brim with white, Protestant Christians, but I don't want to raise my kids with the idea that this perspective is the only one that matters. 

I will credit the authors for at least mentioning other groups, but it seemed to be from the tone of we need to understand our other brothers and sisters and their culture so we should celebrate Black History Month, Native American Day, Cinco de Mayo. It came off as a sort of "I'm writing to people just like me about those other people, the ones not like me but who believe like I do so they're okay" type of tone. This narrow viewpoint may be partially due to the expected market/audience for the book - predominantly Evangelical or even Fundamentalist Christian or a Protestant Christian who have conservative political and economic leanings, but I believe the authors themselves would indicate they want to reach out to as many people as possible with their ideas, especially those who consider themselves Christian, conservative or not. That larger group includes a lot more diversity than what's represented in this book. Christians are African American, Native American, Asian, Latino and much more. Our skin color is all shades. Our heritages are from many different places not just Western Europe, so it really bothers me that there was such a lack of diversity presented. That's not the "confetti" I want to spread in my household.

2. Special needs unrepresented

This really goes hand in hand with my number 1 of what I didn't like in the book. Many families have unique situations, not just autism, but many other special circumstances which require them to plan and carry out activities very carefully in order to best serve the needs of their whole family. I never felt there was even a thought of "how will this actually fit in the family confronted with special needs every day?" Specifically, I think of autism and sensory integration issues that were completely ignored (because, of course, that's the world I live in). It's as if the writers never even had a thought that many families (potentially 1 in 61 these days according to the latest CDC numbers) may be struggling to celebrate any holiday at all in the midst of a sensory minefield. This misses a huge segment of people.

There are at least 20 ideas or more that are deal breakers for those with autism or sensory integration issues or both. It was never suggested anything be toned down. Nothing was presented that would tell readers the authors understand many people can't even approach any celebration without serious anxiety.

While there are plenty of recipes in the book, there's no mention of any that might be suitable for families struggling with food sensitivities or allergies. If you're an autism family attempting to follow a gluten free lifestyle, you will have to adapt these recipes on your own. Vegetarians and vegans likewise do not exist in this world the authors discuss.

3. No photos, not even one

I'm not sure who made the call on this one, authors or publisher, but I don't agree with it. Photos help people understand what you're presenting, especially when you're talking about decorations and holiday ideas. If they were trying to keep the purity of thought so that readers could imagine the idea more effectively in their own family, I guess I can see it somewhat. But what about all those recipes? Perfect opportunity for some yummy looking photos! (Please understand I HATE cookbooks without pictures. What's the point if I can't see how it's supposed to turn out?) Mostly, however, the lack of photos in this instance comes off to me as a cost-savings measure in publishing. Also, when the book is pitched as Pinteresty idea book, then the lack of photos seems silly.

4. Every day is a holiday or special occasion

While I do like the idea of living with more intentionality, I'm not sure I'm all on board with the idea of making every single day some kind of a special day. I recently finished reading A Thousand Days in Venice and while the author of that book is preparing for her upcoming wedding, one of her vendor's tells her that a little suffering (or a little misery) brings out the sweetness of life. Later when the author reflects on how perfect her wedding day and life is at that moment, she thinks about how grateful she is for that little bit of misery or suffering which also occurred because it truly did make her more aware of when life is sweet.

The authors state at the beginning, "Our desire with this book is to spark your creativity and provide you with ideas for planning and implementing wonderful holiday and holy day celebrations with your loved ones. But we don't want to stop there. We hope that with a little ingenuity and a slight shift in your spiritual perspective, you will learn to toss a little confetti into the everyday too - to be on the lookout for days and ways to make the ordinary extraordinary."

When I mentioned the idea of making every day more filled with confetti, Lotte (almost 18 now) said, "That's stupid, Mom. If you make every day special then you won't even recognize the specialness of the days you really designed to be special."

Too much special, too much of a good thing leads to a lack of gratitude in my eldest's eyes. I'm not sure I completely disagree. I do think an additional sense of embracing the magical and the special of even normal days is vitally important. Finding joy in a sunset, the beauty of a child's laugh, the amazingness of a child speaking words they've never spoken before... However, even King Midas learned that too much of his favorite thing was just plain greedy and actually led to more discontent. The key is balance I think.

Overall, I give the book an OK to Good rating. I think there are some good ideas, but as a Mom with two children with autism, it will require a lot of adapting to fit any of the ideas in our home. Honestly, I'd probably be more interested in a book that addresses celebrations and how to really enjoy them while minimizing the meltdowns, explosions, and emergency situations they can bring on. And, while the ideas are good, I'm not positive some good Pinterest research wouldn't provide you the same result complete with photos. A quick Google search led me to another book I'll be adding onto my reading list & hopefully reviewing as well.

Want to see more book reviews? Well, I love to read, so comment with suggestions and I'll add them to my list. I'm always reading about eight to ten books at a time. Have suggestions for great books for autism families? Please comment with those ideas too!

Kindergarten for triplets

Our Level 1 road is currently down to one lane for resurfacing.

The Kindergarten triplet first day of school pictures didn't happen. I mean they didn't happen as a group. And that's a big day for triplets. And it's the reason for wearing matching outfits in the first place, right? The picture? The picture of three cute little girls all holding hands with their cute little backpacks on... yeah, I don't have it, maybe we'll try again tomorrow. 

In the midst of road resurfacing which has taken out the whole far side of our street (don't ask me how I'll get out of my driveway later this afternoon to pick up girls from school for therapy), getting three littles ready for two different bus schedules, accommodating the brand new "cold turkey" potty training approach which eliminates the safety net of pull-ups for any daytime hours for our two with autism, the following photos will have to do for 1st Day of School shots.

Angel triplet

More Angel triplet

Princess triplet says NO MORE PHOTOS!

Princess triplet

Sunshine triplet

More Sunshine

Autism milestones that make a daddy smile

Angel triplet hops into our bed this morning. Tripped Up Daddy reaches over and gently pinches her nose.

Daddy: "beep, beep"

Angel triplet: "Nose!" <laughter>

(We promised "Daddy rants" a long time ago. This is one, stolen from his own Facebook status. It was just too good not to share.)

Continuing the "Our Autism" conversation

Huffington Post Parents and Autism Speaks just published a post by Jessica Watson, of Four Plus an Angel, and it's wonderful! I've posted links to it via my personal and blog Facebook pages, but thought I'd bring it up here on the blog specifically as well. Jessica says she wants to encourage people to share what their autism experience is and I think it's a marvelous idea.

I'm including an excerpt of the article, a link to it in full, and my own response below. I'd really like to see more conversations started at any of these sites about what autism looks like for all of us.

From Jessica:

Since the beginning of my life as an autism mom, I have been surrounded by versions of what people think autism is. Well-meaning onlookers have mentioned that my daughter doesn't count 5,000 items in 30 seconds like Rain Man, or memorize the name of every U.S. president like that one other person with autism they know. In the early days of her diagnosis, some questioned it so much that I questioned it myself, even though we were given the label by a nationally known autism expert who just happened to be a short car ride away.

But here is the thing: Our autism is not their autism, and it's not your autism either. There is a saying out there that autism parents like to use because it is so very true:

If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism.

In an effort to help other autism parents feel more comfortable embracing how their children's autism is very similar and very different from others', I wanted to share "our autism" with you and encourage other families to do the same. I hope opening up the conversation about what it's really like helps others to stop judging from the outside looking in.

This is our autism:

Our autism is nonstop episodes of the Food Network and knowing every bus route within five miles.

It's visiting restaurants because Guy Fieri has been there and praying no one bumps into her plate.

Please enjoy the rest of Jessica's post here.

Here's a small glimpse of what our autism looks like at The Tripped Up Life castle:

Our autism is making sure all plants in the backyard are non-toxic because you can be sure she'll be eating every one of them at some point. It's trying desperately to stay in front of the hyperactivity and mischief that results. It's trying to draw out another girl from her quiet spaces. It's offering plenty of places for jumping and running and swinging. It's being forever flexible and yet very, very planned. 

It's watching the mystery of having triplets - 2 with autism and 1 without - and also realizing that their triplet experience is so completely different than what typical multiples experience. It's realizing the promise we got from others, "triplets really start getting easy at age 4" has had absolutely NO bearing in our world and we really don't know when triplets will ever start getting easier. 

It's hearing a little voice saying "Mwah" and feeling your heart squeeze as you give her the kisses she's asking for. It's hearing Fefame Feet (Sesame Street) requested for the 15th time today and still just being excited because it's an actual thing you KNOW she wants and it's clear enough that even Grandma can understand it. It's hearing songs being sung and melodies chanted constantly but hardly ever hearing either of them say Mama very often. It's hoping that pull-ups will no longer be part of our world someday and yet being grateful they're brushing their teeth, getting dressed and usually using utensils to eat. 

It's always feeling like you never get a chance to simply enjoy the wonder of childhood with your neurotypical triplet and yet having moments of pure joy when you see all three truly enjoy being together. 

It's more than you ever imagined, fuller than you could have dreamed, and a constant study in contradictions.

Next stop Europe...

Well, for Lotte anyway. One-sixth of the Tripped Up Family is heading to Chicago now and then boards a plane to Warsaw, Poland to begin a 15-day European Choral Tour. She's competing in the World Choir Games in Riga, Latvia as part of her high school's European Tour Choirs. They will visit Prague, Vienna, and Budapest along the way. If you're interested, you can follow along with the Rockford Choirs via Twitter, their Facebook page, Instagram, and of course their blog.

Today's office

No pictures of Lotte leaving for Europe today because when you're holding onto two 5-year-olds' hands while keeping track of where the other 5-year-old wanders with periodic glances, not only do you not have hands to take a picture, but you also don't have the eye focus. That's okay, I would have gotten water (tears) all over my phone anyway. How can I end up not crying during graduation but end up balling when I drop her off for her Europe trip?

Closely averting two meltdowns while 57+ people gathered with all of their luggage and send-off people (on a windy day that even Pooh would find slightly mentionable) and still managing to get Lotte there early and well prepared, I'd say that was an afternoon of work. Here's hoping today's office environment will calm down all the rest of the emotions, for Tripped Up Mama and all three triplets, one of whom cried the whole way home because she didn't want to leave her sister. Mabybe later I'll just take another look at those photos of Prague & dream of seeing it all myself.

Errands with the kiddos

Even on good days a trip to the grocery store can prove disastrous with kids. When you add in multiples and also special needs, it can be really trying. So trying, in fact, that today I shot out a tweet - almost in fear:

About to go to @Meijer with 2 autistic 4 year old daughters in tow. Just keep smiling, just keep smiling.
— Lisa Roberts (@trippeduplife) May 29, 2013

No, not from today, but it is 2 triplets
& they are in a cart.
Don't get so picky about details!

As it turned out, the trip was probably the best we've had in a long time. It was just me with Princess and Angel triplets, and we spent over an hour in the grocery store with absolutely NO meltdowns to speak of, no major challenges at all. The only thing I can identify that may have made it easier was being able to spy one of the big, 3-kid-seat carts in a cart return. Of course I parked the van as close as I could, grabbed it before getting the girls out of the van, and moved them into that directly from the van. That saved us numerous transitions, which I really was worrying about as we were driving into the lot. Beyond that, the free bakery cookies helped, but mostly the girls were just in really great moods. They were pleased to be out of the house and somewhere different and were excited about the sights around them. That doesn't mean the sounds of carts moving around, the electronic alarm going off or the bottle return noise (from 3 aisles away) didn't adversely affect them. We still had fingers in ears & hands over ears even while 3 aisles or more away from the sounds.

They continued the good behavior by playing quietly once we arrived home so I could even unload the groceries in relative peace. Are they getting older? Are they just becoming more used to their surroundings? Maybe, or maybe we were lucky and hit everything right on. In any case, I absolutely know that it could have all gone horribly wrong in 2 minutes or less.

Then an even more surprising thing happened. Meijer replied:

@trippeduplife We hope it went well! Please let us know if there's anything we can do to improve the experience for your daughters.
— Meijer (@meijer) May 29, 2013

How do you like that? One of my regular grocery stores wants to know how they can help make a sometimes very challenging experience better for my daughters. I'd say that's good customer service! Since it was only a day after a huge firestorm erupted after word got out about a Kalamazoo salon owner berating a customer for not controlling her autistic son as he received a haircut, I'd say Meijer looked pretty family friendly and proactive today. And trust me, I don't always give them credit for those two things.

Anyway, the question, "how can we help you," prompted me to wonder exactly how to answer back. It also made me wonder what other folks like me do with the basic errands of life. You know, people like you. How do you involve your autistic (or special needs) children without feeling too much apprehension? How do you plan for a great time? Or is it simply beyond our ability to control and we just take what we can get, smiling when it's good, crying when it's bad? I asked for feedback on my newly created Trippeduplife.com Facebook page too and am waiting for responses. I'd love to get some feedback that I could actually give to Meijer. How could they make it easier for kids with autism to feel comfortable in the shopping experience? With 1 in 88 kids being diagnosed with autism, it's worth knowing. Besides, I think it's important to reward companies when they start asking the right questions.

So stop by the Facebook page, like it & reply. Or, just comment below. Let's get some answers out there, because somebody wants to help, and I don't know about you, but I don't always feel that kind of love when I'm out with my autistic kiddos.

Healthy meals made simple with Wildtree freezer meals

I've written about the classic question "What's for dinner?" before, and at the Tripped Up Castle the answer always seems to vacillate between two opposites. It means either being really organized and pre-planning menus for weeks and weeks ahead of time or getting super creative with whatever's in the house. 

In my various attempts to make mealtimes easier, especially dinner, I've always been intrigued by the logic of freezer meals. It's like they're a mixture of the two ends of the organization spectrum. I love the relative ease of pulling out a partially prepared, frozen meal out in the morning and having minimal work to do for dinner that night. This suits my hectic lifestyle.

So, when a friend invited me to a Wildtree party event where we'd prepare 10 freezer meals using organic spice and seasoning mixes, I was all about it. In fact, the more I thought about the idea, the more I thought it would suit others, like my blog readers, too. 

What is Wildtree? 

Wildtree is a company that helps you answer these questions: What's for dinner? How can I make it healthy for my family? How can I make it in a short amount of time? How can I plan simple, quick meals and save money? Why and how can healthy food be delicious? It's a food company founded on the premise that food should be all natural, nutritious, delicious, and easy to prepare all at the same time. Wildtree products are made of all natural ingredients and have low or no sodium. They have no MSG, no high fructose corn syrup, and no trans fats. 

According to the Wildtree website: "Most of us do not cook from scratch anymore and let's face it - we are a sauce from a jar, soup from a can, chicken shaking generation. Packaged foods do make our life easier, but they are also expensive, loaded with fats, salts, and preservatives, and just not as tasty as homemade. Why not rediscover cooking & healthy eating the Wildtree way?"

The products range from taco seasoning packets to grape seed oil for cooking. You'll find spice rubs and blends that work together to make it easy to make any meal. At the upcoming party, I expect to taste some delicious food and learn new ways to make mealtimes easier in my house, like the "bag/freeze/marinate" method of one pot meals.

Can Wildtree help you?

If you live in West Michigan, or are going to be in the area on June 26, 2013, why not plan to join me, my friend, and others at a Wildtree party? We'll have a great time getting 10 freezer meals together and walk away with enough product to do another set of 10 meals on our own. (Not including the meat & vegetables that you bring with you to the event). In order to be part of the event, please visit my friend's website, click on email me, then tell her you want to be part of the June 26 Freezer Meal Event. It costs $75 for the product and you need to have that in place by June 12 to be included in the event.

I promise to attend the Wildtree Freezer Meal party and let you know what I think. I'll taste test the food there and then family test it later. You'll see at least one or two reviews of meals on the blog and of course I promise to tell the absolute truth - it either works for us or it doesn't. It still seems to be processed food, however, it seems like it's healthier processed food. So, you get the ease, convenience, and lower costs without the guilt of feeding your family unhealthy and artificial food. This could be good for the Tripped Up Castle - stay tuned.


*Disclosure: This post is partially sponsored by Jenna Michalsky as I will receive a discount on the Wildtree product required to attend the freezer meal party. Additional discounts will apply if readers of my blog also attend the party.