Milestone Saturday

The statement "I want to sleep in my own room" by Sunshine triplet has moved to reality. Bedtime song for triplets happened in a room with 2 beds and a pillow where "kids who don't sleep in this room can sit," she said. Tears for Mommy, they're growing up and getting more independent every day. 

Unexpected gifts

This past weekend was filled with the unexpected. One of our favorite surprises was the warm Michigan weather that allowed our littles to play outside without coats and (for two crazy littles who couldn't be convinced otherwise) barefoot. The other favorite is shown in this picture above, seems like a fairly typical photo, but it's pretty special at the Tripped Up Castle.

Description stolen from Tripped Up Daddy's Facebook account:

Enjoying the air glider together. We've gotten close a few times earlier, but this was the first time it was initiated on its own.

Autism progress for the little Angel triplet!

This moment is brought to you through hours and hours of ABA therapy, occupational therapy, Floortime therapy, and the fantastic teachers in the ASD room. (Thanks too to the foundation provided in the ECSE programs we've used since the girls were 18 months old).

Slippery Fish or It's the little things that aren't so little after all

If you've never experienced kids with delays or special needs this might not mean much to you. If you know the struggle of meeting even one milestone amidst delays, read on.

While going potty this morning, Angel triplet (yes, I did say GOING POTTY) starts singing this song and doing the motions. Then her sister Princess triplet joins in. Yay for ABA therapy and for daily progress!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45VuWNq3cjs

One in college and three entering kindergarten

Today is a big day for me, but a bigger one for Lotte. No tearful college dorm drop-off this year since she's spending her first two years at a community college. 

She will move out and live with her dad soon though. It's closer to college and out of some of The Tripped Up Castle craziness, which will make it easier for her to focus on classes, lessons, practicing, rehearsals, performances, and a job. Not to mention the whole, making new friends and "figuring out the rest of her life" as she puts it.

I don't want to say a lot about today because I don't want to get all teary again. (I think I've done enough of that all summer long). I'm still amazed at this girl, this wonderful, nearly perfect in every way girl, who is all grown up now. 

She's awesome. She's compassionate, loving, kind, talented, smart, and hopeful. She really is on her way and going to all sorts of fabulous places. (And hold onto your hat because the little three go to kindergarten next week.)

Autism milestones that make a daddy smile

Angel triplet hops into our bed this morning. Tripped Up Daddy reaches over and gently pinches her nose.

Daddy: "beep, beep"

Angel triplet: "Nose!" <laughter>

(We promised "Daddy rants" a long time ago. This is one, stolen from his own Facebook status. It was just too good not to share.)

Attention: Tooth Fairy!

Sunshine triplet is ready for her first visit from you! Tripped Up Mommy and Daddy are curious about the going rates these days. What exactly should our little girl expect to get from today's Tooth Fairy?

Showing off the empty spot. The permanent tooth is already in.
Neighboring tooth is almost out too.

The prized possession.

Response to 1 in 68

The CDC has released its latest numbers on autism. Now we know that 1 in 68 children have an autism diagnosis compared to the 1 in 88 of the past.

The report also indicates that boys are 5 times more likely to be diagnosed with autism, but in various reports I've been reading this could be simply because the symptoms in boys are more prominent and also because professionals have been trained to look for it more often in boys than in girls. I believe we will see autism diagnosis equalize between genders as the years go on.



This clip features my friend Kim from NJ with her lovely daughter Ava. Kim was one of my own first supporters when we received the autism diagnosis on Angel and Princess triplets. In fact, without knowing Kim and her story, I don't know if I would have finally pushed to discover the real issues in our own daughters.

The report also indicates that once you know, you can get early intervention. Oh if that were only true for everyone. Certainly, I support early diagnosis. Certainly, I support early intervention. I guess I just want to bring to people's attention that whether or not you get the type of intervention you really need depends on more than just the diagnosis. It depends on your insurance. It depends on your state. It depends on your school district. It depends on your income level. It depends on how adept you are at finding, applying for and being awarded available grants. It depends on how determined you are to work with what's available until you can obtain what's actually needed. It depends on how easily you accept the following answers relative to your child: "No," "Not now," "We don't have those kind of resources available," "Since you're self-pay we can only...," "I'm sorry, but" and the list goes on and on and on and on.

If you have any concerns about your child, I strongly suggest you seek out answers as soon as possible. However, you need to be ready to fight for your child and his/her needs from the beginning. An autism diagnosis is great and in some places, that's all you need to make sure you get the needed services. In most it's really not. Dig, research, talk to parents and never allow yourself to believe that one professional knows all the answers. Don't allow yourself to remain in denial or fear for very long. When you have a child with autism, you may need to be much more than just a parent. Your roles will also include therapist and advocate. Get used to it, that may not change for years.

Give toddlers room to grow

and amazing things happen... they start turning into preschoolers right before your very eyes.

When you have triplets, containment can be your best friend, like a fenced-in backyard, a triplet wagon, high chairs, a 12' baby gate, you know, the basics. When you struggle with milestone delays with the same triplet toddlers, containment can also be part of the problem.

Recently Tripped Up Daddy decided it was time to remove the biggest baby gate in our household. I don't know that I was completely ready for that, honestly. It meant little girls running with wild abandon throughout the house and anything not "safely out of reach" would be fair game. Maybe not so scary for those who find it easy to keep a neat house, but unfortunately the Tripped Up Family tends to be more "cluttered" than "spartan" in our decorating techniques. So this new world of "no major gate" was pretty intimidating.

Amazingly enough, it really was the perfect time to allow more freedom to the girls. All 3 of the girls seem to be advancing rapidly in development now (with little to no scary side effects - you know, like broken limbs, cracked heads, or cut fingers). They love the opportunity to roam and chase each other, climb up and downstairs at will, explore the kitchen while we cook, and chase the cats with greater ease. It's been so much fun that just two days after the "wall came down," I said, "let's pull the booster seats out and have the girls sit right up at the table for meals." So we did, and now we feel so much more like a family of 6 instead of a family of 3 and 3. It feels good and in some ways it's easier, and in some ways it's harder.

Raising triplet toddlers seems a lot like gardening. You never are completely sure when it's the ideal time to transplant a houseplant into a bigger pot, but there does come a point when there's no other choice. If you don't move a growing plant to a larger location where it can spread its roots, it will stop growing and could even die. Perhaps it didn't take a public figure like Ronald Reagan to say "tear down this wall" in our home, but I think we do realize the girls were getting a little "root-bound," if you will. Today, they have a lot more freedom to grow.

And yet, if you ask Tripped Up Daddy today, at this very moment, whether he supports his decision or not, you might get a different answer. Today's fun activities included: Princess triplet taking off pj's and dirty diaper in middle of living room while he was gathering clothes for day upstairs (who knows where that tush went), Angel triplet climbing onto top of changing table, then proceeding to pull all the baby wipes out of box and throwing them everywhere while he was making lunch, Princess triplet grabbing all the lunch plates off the counter and throwing them on the floor as Daddy rushed to rescue Angel. I haven't heard anything specific about Sunshine triplet, but there may be stories when I get home.

I think Tripped Up Daddy wants the gate back today. Instead, I think the next step is potty training, in triplicate.

Sometimes I forget my triplets have milestone delays

Every day at our house is so filled with basic care of toddlers and concentrated efforts to guide each of them along at their particular level, that sometimes I forget about where a “normal” (I hate that word) nearly 2-1/2 year old should be regarding developmental milestones. Aside from the internal comparisons to what I remember life was like when my 14 year old was their age (which is its own bad idea for many reasons, not the least of which is bad memory). I know intellectually we have significant delays, especially in speech and language, but as we live our lives, I adjust my expectations and continue to work with each triplet where they are today. Teaching wherever I can, trying to emphasize sounds, using sign language, encouraging simple words, etc.

Then, come the days when you work in the church nursery or visit friends with kids of similar age or go to the park, etc. Suddenly, you see a little girl their age doing things you are still dreaming of for your children - things like saying, “I want my mommy!” or following easy directions like “can you get a book for me and I’ll read it to you.” Sometimes even from children younger than they are and all of a sudden the reality of significant milestone delays hits you like bricks falling from the sky.

Then you fight off tears as best you can, smile and keep going. You see, there’s no one in the world who wants to hear our 2-1/2-year-olds speak and share their thoughts more than Tripped Up Daddy and me, but we can only get there one step at a time. And by the way, that’s their steps not necessarily the big giant steps I’d like to take.

Sometimes I think back to when I first had that painful thought, “Are my kids behind? I mean, like behind enough that I should be worried? The doctor hasn’t been worried, should I be?” and all the other questions that raged in my head. There are all the comments you get from everyone - “kids develop at their own rates, don’t worry so much” and the like, which I think I listened to too long. When you’re dealing with the initial 15 months of raising triplets, sometimes survival and immediate needs keep you in a potential state of denial longer than is healthy. We started asking the serious questions when the triplets were 18 months, like it or not, I still wish we would have begun pursuing help at 12 months or 15 months.

Our first call was to the Early Intervention group in our state, once our pediatrician indicated he would support a call to the organization. Since then, we’ve had the girls assessed and are busily working on their Individualized Education Plans, which are updated every 6 months with a new assessment. We don’t talk a lot about “catching up” anymore with their special ed teachers, speech pathologists, and more, instead we just focus on the goals for each girl.

I found the tagline of the group very compelling, “Don’t worry, but don’t wait.” Recently a friend asked me about who I called, because she had some concerns about her own child. Once she visited the site, we talked about that tagline. It was interesting because we’re both writers, and we both thought, “Damn, that’s good copywriting.”

The hardest part of having kids with delayed milestones is being willing to make the first call, I think. It’s hard to admit your kid may be struggling. It makes you confront all kinds of worries you may not want to really acknowledge. The key is to make that call. Every state in the U.S. has an Early Intervention program which will help assess your child.

If you’re even worried at all about milestone delays, check with your pediatrician or family doctor. Both will have information on which milestones should be occurring at which month, etc. You want to know what to expect and what to keep an eye on with milestones and specifically speech delays. In short, I advocate calling for help earlier rather than later, because if there really are delays, the sooner you know, the sooner you can start helping your child in specific ways.

I know someday my triplets will talk to me, but today it’s a dream. And I’m doing all I can to help them get there in the meantime.