ABA Therapy in the home

We've just started ABA therapy up again after almost a year break. It's been super helpful already, as we can see forward motion occurring already for both of our darlings with autism. We've utilized this therapy in our home before and also in a clinical setting. 

Once again I feel our girls are doing better with it in the home rather than in the clinical setting. And here's one big reason why, triplets playing together in facilitated activities. Here they are with a sensory bin filled with rice - and no pica concerns either! Triplets = Built in social interaction peer group therapy! Thanks Sunshine triplet for being so interested in playing with your sisters!

I took them to a park all by myself!

Today was the first day I felt comfortable taking the triplets to play at a park all by myself. Triplets + autism for 2 of the 3 and we hit a major milestone for Tripped Up Mommy today. Feeling hopeful!

You finally took them to a park? Yes, me, alone took my trio to a local school playground all by myself without feeling like I needed Grandma or my oldest daughter or another adult or a friendly teen to be there just in case somebody takes off running. All 3 engaged with the playground equipment functionally, including my two with autism. There was even some social play occurring. For the first time ever, this Mother of multiples felt empowered and not scared to death of elopement at a park. It may seem late to others but given all of our variables, I was beginning to wonder if it could ever happen! Full disclosure: there is a fence around much of playground, however it's a huge area and the fence still allows escape points.

Daddy Daughter Dance 2015

Tripped Up Daddy took the trio to their first Daddy Daughter Dance this past Friday. It was only possible because of the gracious help from a guy friend and his daughter (Jay & Rosemary) that we attend church with. They also happen to be teachers in the girls' church class, so they know them well and they love them dearly.

Tripped Up Daddy said the line for traditional professional photos was much too long for our trio, maybe even if we didn't have the whole autism thing to contend with. So Jay did a photo shoot in the high school lobby and then put together a video to show off the "attempts."

Enjoy "Dancing with the Starletts"

The evening itself was a hit for all three. Sunshine triplet in her typical social butterfly fashion danced with Daddy a little and then enjoyed hanging out with all her friends. Princess triplet loved the music and the lights - as evidenced by all the stimming & running around the dance floor. Angel triplet ditched the dance floor altogether and hung out with the cookies and punch most of the night. Something for everyone!

World Prematurity Day - 11-17

Triplets within the first two weeks after coming home from NICU

Did you know that 1 in 9 babies are born prematurely? Thankfully research and medical advances ensure many of these babies survive & receive the best possible care. Many go on to thrive, like our triplets who were born at 34 weeks and spent 2 weeks in NICU before coming home.

A recent snuggletime

Tomorrow our lovely ladies will turn six years old. There's no doubt when you add triplets, prematurity, speech and language delay, and autism (for two out of the three) all together you have a world of unexpected challenges, however, amidst the crazy, hectic life we lead, we are also surrounded by beauty and joy in triplicate.

On one day in 2008 our 3 person family became a 6 person family. We'd never want it any other way.

Our undying gratitude goes to the March of Dimes, Helen DeVos Children's Hospital, Spectrum Health Maternal Fetal Medicine and Baylor College - Texas Children's Hospital in Houston.

All four of our girls.

Unexpected gifts

This past weekend was filled with the unexpected. One of our favorite surprises was the warm Michigan weather that allowed our littles to play outside without coats and (for two crazy littles who couldn't be convinced otherwise) barefoot. The other favorite is shown in this picture above, seems like a fairly typical photo, but it's pretty special at the Tripped Up Castle.

Description stolen from Tripped Up Daddy's Facebook account:

Enjoying the air glider together. We've gotten close a few times earlier, but this was the first time it was initiated on its own.

Autism progress for the little Angel triplet!

This moment is brought to you through hours and hours of ABA therapy, occupational therapy, Floortime therapy, and the fantastic teachers in the ASD room. (Thanks too to the foundation provided in the ECSE programs we've used since the girls were 18 months old).

Kindergarten for triplets

Our Level 1 road is currently down to one lane for resurfacing.

The Kindergarten triplet first day of school pictures didn't happen. I mean they didn't happen as a group. And that's a big day for triplets. And it's the reason for wearing matching outfits in the first place, right? The picture? The picture of three cute little girls all holding hands with their cute little backpacks on... yeah, I don't have it, maybe we'll try again tomorrow. 

In the midst of road resurfacing which has taken out the whole far side of our street (don't ask me how I'll get out of my driveway later this afternoon to pick up girls from school for therapy), getting three littles ready for two different bus schedules, accommodating the brand new "cold turkey" potty training approach which eliminates the safety net of pull-ups for any daytime hours for our two with autism, the following photos will have to do for 1st Day of School shots.

Angel triplet

More Angel triplet

Princess triplet says NO MORE PHOTOS!

Princess triplet

Sunshine triplet

More Sunshine

Jigsaw puzzle pieces

They tucked themselves in like a jigsaw puzzle.
Who knew they could still fit all in one chair like that!
Sunshine, Princess & Angel triplets.

This is the classic all in one chair pose! 4-1/2 months (3 months adjusted).
Their very first Easter photo shoot. Angel, Princess & Sunshine triplets.

Intensive potty-training - Day 1

Today marks the beginning of the New World Order in our house. Angel triplet is learning to go potty. TODAY. It's Midwinter Break so we have 2 days off from school. Tripped Up Daddy is in charge of Princess and Sunshine triplets today. I've hired a babysitter to watch the other two triplets tomorrow and Tuesday so Angel triplet and I can live in the bathroom.

We're following a regimen indicated by her ABA supervisor, and it normally works after about 2 to 3 days.

It's insane. It's programmed potty times with only 10 minute breaks in between. That's 15 minutes of sitting on the potty, then a break, and then back to the potty. We've done 4 cycles already, had one accident, and only a little balking. She can play with anything she wants while she's on the potty, and if she goes two amazing things happen: 1) SHE GETS CANDY! 2) We get to wait 45 minutes until the next scheduled potty time!

So far the best potty time activities are her Barbie B Bright computer toy and My Pal Violet. Oh and Mommy's reading electronic potty books whenever there's a lull in interest.

Tripped Up Daddy and the others went to church leaving me alone in the insanity. Actually, I think I could do this if it were just her and me. Of course, nothing, absolutely nothing else, will be accomplished today.

Wish me luck. If it works we'll be down to just 1 triplet still in pull-ups

It's no secret we're behind on this daily living skill (the girls are 5, after all), but that's not unusual when you're dealing with autism or other developmental delays. If you've followed along with us in the past you're used to reading about the potty training dilemma, if not, you can catch up pretty quickly by looking at the earlier posts (linked in this paragraph).

Selling extra diapers?!!

Where we are

I recently saw a photo of a big box of diapers for sale on a Facebook post from a local garage sale group. The title was "Selling Extra Diapers - my son potty-trained faster than I expected." Looking closer, I saw they were Pampers and I love a deal, you know. Unfortunately, they were a size 3. A size 3! I haven't seen a size 3 in this house in well over a year. I used to get excited about the Pampers Gifts to Grow program. Now that we're on size 6 diapers, there's nothing much on the reward list we don't already have, so we just get coupons for more diapers, and that's not exactly exciting.

Back to selling diapers. That mom doesn't need any diapers for her son anymore, at all. I almost cried. I am definitely not THAT MOM, and not just because I don't have a son.

I can't even imagine how it must feel to be able to say I don't need diapers anymore. In fact, I'd love to be able to say "she's potty-trained" for any of my triplets and know it means a process that's actually finished. While Sunshine triplet really only has accidents at night now, those accidents often include number 2 just as often as number 2 ends up in the potty. (Okay, I lied, we just had a Number 2 accident and it's in the middle of the day).

Potty training = nightmare

Sunshine triplet's night-time wear

Potty training is an absolute nightmare with triplets, especially when two of the trio have autism and are significantly delayed with milestones. Okay, I lie. I haven't really even tried much with Angel or Princess triplet, just some basic introductory stuff to the potty. My goal has been to get the neurotypical triplet trained which would magically make it easier for me to deal with the other two, right? Potty training my neurotypical triplet has been hell, and I've been afraid of what it will be like to really concentrate on it with my autistic daughters.

My experience with potty training in the past is minimal. I used to think it was just perfect experience, now I know better. Lotte was about 3 years old when her dad and I finally started the divorce process. Potty training, while I thought about it briefly, was rejected as not a good thing to pursue until some of the instability of her world disappeared (is that another way of saying I was lazy and didn't have a clue as a first-time mom?)

Anyway, Lotte practically potty-trained herself. She came up to me one day and said, "Mommy, I don't wear diapers anymore." I replied, "Really? Okay then let's go get some big girl panties for you." One trip to the store, 2 packages of brand new underwear, 1 set of training pants with plastic pants for over top and 2 weeks of practice. Potty training was done, finished, complete - EVEN AT NIGHT! Oh, did I tell you that she was in daycare full-time back in those days? Yeah, in retrospect her potty-training had absolutely NOTHING to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with a really fabulous daycare Mama. (Don't ask me how long it took for me to realize that).

Anything and everything

We have 15 pair of training pants
ready to go right now
for Angel and Princess triplets

Back to the trio - Lotte would be so happy if I would quit discussing her potty training after all. I should tell you that we tried absolutely EVERYTHING with Sunshine triplet, and I do mean EVERYTHING. Rewards worked enough to get her to sit on the potty, but honestly I spent over a year just trying to get her to go number 1 in the potty. I have never met anyone with such a bladder of steel. The girl could hold it for 12 hours if she wanted - even with me pushing fluids as much as possible. She would simply wait until she knew she would be wearing a pull-up to go (like at night). School was as frustrated as me, well, maybe not quite, they usually only had to change one diaper/pull-up a day after all. And they certainly don't pay for them.

In the end, what worked for Sunshine, you ask? Well, it was a little meanness and the use of an old summer camp prank that actually did it. Here she was, just before bed, sitting on the potty jiggling her legs and screaming "I want a pull-up," when Tripped Up Daddy said, "tough." "You have to sit and you have to go here. We're staying right here and you're safe, but you have to go on the potty, not in a pull-up." Then he pulled out a dishpan, filled it with warm water and stuck her bare feet in the water. Within seconds, Sunshine triplet surprised herself by going pee in the potty, and not just a little. She had been holding it for hours after all. That was the moment when she finally realized there was nothing to fear about using the potty, at least for number 1. Then within days, she self-initiated bathroom time and she's only had a number 1 accident about 3 times total. That was about two months ago.

The lessons

Church NextStep Toilet Seat

So what have I learned? Well, I wish I would have realized it was fear and not really stubbornness that was the issue with Sunshine. I also realized she had almost been at the same point about 6 months earlier, but I gave in to the frantic screaming and fear by letting her have a pull-up. Had I instead stayed strong, she ultimately would have broken through and succeeded, saving us months of anxiety and frustration. I also wish I had found Potty Training Concepts a whole lot sooner. I think it would have been an invaluable resource. I wish I would have chosen a specific method of potty training that I agreed with and stuck with it. Sunshine triplet enjoys structure, maybe even more than her two triplet sisters with autism. If we had chosen a specific structured approach to the whole process and stuck with it, I think it all would have been easier. Instead, we were way too busy trying everybody's suggestions, the doctor's, mother-in-law's, friends, family members, teachers, etc., that I think it simply confused everyone, especially Sunshine. Last, while potty chairs are fine, I strongly recommend using a potty seat on the actual toilet, like the Church NextStep Toilet Seat.

Where we're headed,
sooner rather than later
we all hope.

What can I apply to the next two triplets for potty-training? Ahhh, now that's an interesting question. At this point, we will be working very closely with the girls' new ABA therapists and OT therapists regarding the process. While I've found many plans out there and even recently went to a seminar specifically for toilet training kiddos with Down syndrome (and other disabilities), I still am not sure what method is the best. Stay tuned, though, I'm sure we'll be learning a lot soon because toilet training is definitely on the goal list for both Angel and Princess triplets.

If you have any advice, I'll sure listen, because like I said, potty training stinks (even for singletons who don't have autism) and obviously I'm no expert on all of this.

Embracing simplicity

I've had trouble with clutter my whole life. Holding garage sales, donating to charity, or simply throwing things away were difficult tasks for my parents too while I was growing up. I remember once, while helping pack my mom's kitchen for a move, finding a weirdly-shaped serving dish. The ensuing conversation shows how much holding onto too much stuff has been drilled into me.

Me: "Mom, what is this? I've never seen it before. Can we get rid of it?"
Mom: "That's a French bread server."
Me: "A what? Okay, so can we just get rid of it then?"
Mom: "Oh no, that was a wedding gift!"
Me: "Really, but we never use it. Can't we just get rid of it?"
Mom: "I've used it once I'm sure. You can't get rid of a wedding gift."
Me: "I'm sure they wouldn't even care by now Mom, who did you get it from anyway?"
Mom: "Oh, I don't remember.

BEFORE: Main floor play area - mid-day play time

I'll admit as an adult I've had an inner desire for my home to look like those fancy magazine photos or at least like my really organized friends' homes. In reality, it looks like someone vomited toys at my house, that and clutter of all kinds on almost every flat surface. It's not that we really ever wanted it this way, it's just how it seems to end up.

Angel triplet has a propensity to get into everything, pull things apart, and put everything into her mouth. I usually feel like I can't keep ahead of her. She is still a big "dumper" of toys, running from one bin to another to simply dump everything on the floor, without much functional play with any of them. Putting toys away after dumping is quite the challenge for her and usually requires someone to work with her, helping her by doing the activity with her hand over hand. Now add in a stubborn Sunshine triplet who simply doesn't want to either stop playing or needs her one-on-one attention to encourage clean up, plus a Princess triplet who just wants to wander around with various objects twirling them in her typical stimming fashion. When it's a 1 adult to 3 kids ratio, it's really tough to insist on the clean up routine. Often, you find yourself giving up and deciding to clean it up yourself after the kiddos go to bed that night. Unless, of course, you're too exhausted.

Too many toys, too much clutter and lots of dumping. It all leads to a great deal of stress. On top of that, the need for structure and organization is high with Princess and Angel triplets, even though it often looks like Angel is bound and determined to wreak as much havoc as possible. Tripped Up Mommy's natural spontaneous personality and overall cluttered approach makes it more difficult for them to order their own brains, body, and ultimately life. This is exactly the moment for intentional parenting - it's time for Mommy to get more disciplined and make things easier for them. Thanks to one of the girls' teachers, who recently spent 4+ hours with me in our house, we've made some HUGE strides in simplifying our upstairs play area. With   help from their teacher and Tripped Up Daddy's entertaining of triplets, we dug in and made a lot of little changes that added up to a huge one.

AFTER: Main floor play area - mid-day play time

Here's what we did:

1. Grouped like items quickly & put a bin together for odds & ends items that will be sorted later.
2. Reduced the total number of toys available by about two-thirds.
3. Purchased and labeled special bins where small toys can be stored.
4. Planned out new rules for the girls which included no dumping of more than one bin at a time. 
5. Created a workable plan for addressing toy boredom (switching out the toys within a planned time period).
6. Reduced the anxiety of "but where do I put all this junk on the top of a cabinet?" question by using a box to store excess clutter with the understanding it will be sorted at a later date.
7. Set up a plan of action that will make it easy for anyone (including Tripped Up Daddy, Lotte, babysitters, Grandma) to put the room back in working order within 15 minutes.
8. Took perfectionism out of the mix as much as possible 

After a week and a half of a cleaner slate, I've noticed it's a more child-friendly environment and everyone seems to be calmer. There's also more functional play from Angel and Princess triplets already.Yes, the Tripped Up Castle seems happier and less stressed. Plus, we only bought new bins so it was very economical as well. Who knew something I thought I couldn't do would help the girls so much in such a little amount of time? The re-design made a huge impact and gives me the courage to look at doing more simplifying in other areas of the home. Have you done re-works similar to this in your home or life? How did you do it and what were some of the obstacles you faced?

The hope of babble breaks

Princess triplet surprised me yesterday when I realized her normal babble of "Princeeze" had actually broken into "I didn't do it, I didn't do it" in English. It took a second or two to realize that's a line from The Polar Express which she hasn't seen in a week or so. Rather than say this is an autistic behavior of random language usage, I'm choosing to believe she was actually asking to watch the movie. Does an out of context full sentence count as a child using sentences? Maybe not, but it does give me room for hope.

Hope is one thing I've really started to embrace in this land of special needs where I live and raise my kids. It's always a little different in families where there are kids with special needs and as parents we can often feel isolated (usually not in a good way). Lately I've been trying hard to switch my perspective on the toughest parts of the daily parenting experience of kids with autism (of preschoolers with autism, of triplets - 2 of whom seem to be in perpetual toddlerhood). Switching my perspective means looking at the things that drive me crazy, switching the lens, and choosing to see a benefit within the struggle itself. Suddenly this lens change, this change of perspective has brought me more into hope overall. It's also allowed me to see that as a special needs parent, I get to hugely celebrate the littlest milestones of my kids without anyone groaning. Nobody minds when we throw hopeful parties over here.

So yesterday's (and today's so far) hopeful party was all because of a break in babble, a break in babble into English.

And guess what? It doesn't matter how irritating that kid is in The Polar Express who repeatedly says, "I didn't do it." I can hear that from my Princess triplet for the next 2 days straight and be really excited about beginning speech patterns every single time.

The myth of parental control

You know those moments when you're feeling confident, seeing connections being made on little faces and are rewarded with a beautiful smile? Those moments when you say “I can do this! And why in the world did I think raising triplets and dealing with developmental delays was so hard?” Then you walk out of the bathroom holding the hand of a clean toddler whose teeth are freshly brushed only to discover another 3-year-old also had a discovery of her own, which left a trail of your morning coffee all along the kitchen floor, dripping down the counters through every crack and crevice? 

And there she is looking out the window, cup still in hand. It’s then you realize, as you are cleaning the “thank God it was already cold” coffee up on your hands and knees with paper towel because the mop is just too far away to grab, that not only does your floor need a better soap than coffee, but you also need a 24-hour maid. 

Then the next realization comes, the one that again admits defeat and says, parental control and 3-year-olds don’t even belong in the same sentence. At that point you clearly understand that the only parents who believe in parental control are those who HAD 3 year olds... emphasis on HAD... like maybe 3 or 4 years ago or 3 or 4 decades ago, and have forgotten reality. Or, maybe they never had 3-year-olds at all, perhaps their children miraculously went from innocent, delightful cooing baby to adorable pre-schooler in one fell swoop, skipping toddlerhood altogether. (I don't know what pill they gave their kids, but I might pay big money for one to make that happen. Of course, I probably couldn't afford it anyway since I'd have to buy it bulk to provide to the multiples crew that roams this house.)

30 seconds alone with a purple marker

It reminds me of the mom who went to the bathroom, leaving her 3-year-old and 1-1/2 year old to fend for themselves for about 5 minutes apparently much too close to a 5 lb bag of flour. I know many people believe this particular video was staged, and I won’t comment on that, but I do know what my own Sunshine triplet did with a simple purple marker just during the time I typed in “3 year old flour mess” into youtube to find the video.

Perhaps the naysayers and disbelievers have never met my Angel triplet, or any strong-willed toddler, or any exploring toddler for that matter. You see, my own mother has a story that involves flour and herself at about 2 or 3 years old. Back in the 1930s in a farming community of northern Wisconsin, my grandmother bought flour in bulk (20 lb bags) and kept the bag in her bedroom closet because she didn't have room in her kitchen. One day, my mother, little Jeanie, was playing in her mom and dad's bedroom. Can you tell where this is going? Little Jeanie had created a whole town with hills, roads, a school, a church. The building medium? Lovely white flour, found magically within reach in the closet. Thankfully she didn't think to mix it with water. It's a story I've heard for years.

These moments happen every single day here. It keeps me humble. It keeps me grateful that I don’t have to be perfect, and that I happen to believe progress is actually made in our human weakness, thank you Jesus. But I won’t say it’s not frustrating. Thankfully I have Tripped Up Daddy who knows how the chaos can be debilitating and will take 10 minutes before leaving for work to help clean up a mess here and there, just to make my day easier. 

Then there’s posts like Let's Stop with the Mom Guilt by The Happiest Mom Meagan Francis that also reminds me to ditch the negativity and frustration to the curb (as far as this pastor’s daughter and former Catholic organization employee can actually do).

In any event, I do understand that someday I will have parental control over my 3-year-olds. You know, about 3 or 4 decades AFTER they’re through the 3-year-old stage, when I have managed to remember life a little differently.

What do you do while they're in school?

The day is a race from 7:00 a.m. to 11:40 a.m. - sometimes it starts earlier, but somehow it never means I've gotten ahead of the curve. It's still a race to get three 3-year-olds fed breakfast, dressed, diapered, fed lunch, cleaned up and off onto the school bus.

Here's a look at today's last sprint, actually, right before finish line, a race that made me email Tripped Up Daddy demanding a medal, more money, better benefits, or at least lots of presents. Be forewarned: Motherhood is messy, sometimes it takes a lot more than Bissell to clean it up.

Time: 10:50 to 10:55 (I like them to be sitting down for lunch by 11 - I'm running a little late, but it's because I've been playing with them & I know lunch will be quick to do) - bus comes at 11:40 (may be late, but you always have to be ready by 11:40).

Princess has already taken her pants off, which should have been the tip off, but I knew she was just wet. I was changing Angel's dirty diaper, getting her dressed and her hair done (which is long and curly). Just about to shift to Princess (she was already dressed before breakfast because of an accident I discovered with her sleeper/diaper when I got her up earlier). I suddenly realized why her now dirty diaper smelled so bad. It wasn't so much in the diaper as it was a toddler/preschool version of play doh or modeling clay. All over her hands, bare legs, around her mouth, all of her shirt filled with it, piles on the living room floor, Tripped Up Daddy's favorite floor pillow... all that was lacking was some hay or straw and I would have been sure we lived in a barn. 

"Oh dear Lord, please show me how to best handle this one the most efficiently and with the most love for my daughters - without throwing up." (I think it became a recurring prayer through the rest of the race today and I must say it did calm me down).

"DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING! GIRLS, STAY AWAY FROM ALL OF IT! NO, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"

11:20 - Princess has had a quick bath (which she hated because there were no toys and mommy kept saying "we don't play in poopy"), new clothes on (for her & me), floor is mostly cleaned up, do Princess's hair amidst major tears while everyone watches Sid on PBS.

11:30 - Lunch is mac & cheese (leftover from yesterday, which only Princess really touched today) and goldfish, which everyone ate, plus whatever drink I can get my hands on. I know, it's the model of pure healthy food choices for my kids. Socks and lace-up hiking boots going on children as they eat. 

11:40 - Sunshine and Angel in coats, clean up Princess from lunch and put on coat. Sing all possible verses to the Wheels on the Bus while holding Princess's hand to keep her from scrounging off from the still messy table. (Perhaps you see the theme that Princess is our sensory focused child who is about as far from potty training as you can imagine. All of my girls have some delays in development, but Angel and Princess are still learning how to follow basic instructions. Sometimes the delays get a little challenging - you feel like you're raising kids who are at 18 months or 2 years sometimes in a 3 year old body, but I digress.)

11:43 - Bus arrives, open front door (work chain and deadbolt while commanding attention of all 3 so they don't run away into kitchen, or other parts of the house). Sunshine goes ahead out the door, sits down to get down the first step of our porch, does the next 2, then is off and running to the bus. Thank God the bus driver expects her to do that, is right at the bus steps encouraging her and ready to help. (Perhaps now I should mention we live on a well-traveled street, and I'm really thankful for the lights on the bus that cause motorists to at least be on the lookout for children traveling to the bus). I hold Princess and Angel's hands, helping them climb down the stairs and walk them to the bus.

The answer to my demand for a  medal

11:47 - Back in the house, deep breath, email Tripped Up Daddy demanding some kind of kudos and now... I have a disaster to clean up - and the teens (mine & her best friend who hangs with us most every day for a couple of hours) get here at 3 (better if it's clean by then). 

But first, I will take a lunch break - 30 min. to an hour - after all, no one's here. And the disaster? I think it will still be there when I'm done recovering.

Tell me your 5 moments

I've never had my life flash before my eyes, but if it ever did, I think these 5 moments would have to be included.


1. September 11, 1996 - The day I had my first baby - when Lotte was born. I'll never forget when I heard that first cry. It was amazing, after a very rough labor and delivery story ending in an emergency c-section, I heard my baby cry. I had never felt a better moment than right then.


2. September 11, 2001 - It started with a birthday breakfast for my 5 year old - before work, before kindergarten. By 11 a.m. the whole world had changed and I remember going to visit her at daycare "just to get grounded." She was with her dad that evening, and I had just started dating a guy a week earlier who happened to be of Middle Eastern descent. It was a weird time and that relationship didn't last through the weirdness. 


3. June 23, 2006 - This was the most beautiful day anyone had ever seen for an outdoor wedding. Tripped Up Daddy and I married that day and Lotte played us a beautiful rendition of "Simple Gifts" on her violin during the ceremony. We gave her a sapphire necklace after we exchanged our rings - it was a surprise and her smile was worth every effort of keeping that secret.


4. June 23, 2008 - "You have 3 healthy babies - all girls - and they are growing very nicely right now." This is what I remember from that 2 year wedding anniversary. That was when we learned the very high risk pregnancy we had feared would be ending, was now going well and would bless us with 3 beautiful baby girls.


5. November 18, 2008 - It was the sudden cry of Angel triplet that pierced the operating room first, then Princess, and Sunshine didn't cry at all at first (don't worry, she's made up for that since!). It took that first cry to remind me that "Oh yeah, this isn't just another procedure in this tough medical road, we're having babies!" Then the later realization as I looked at each baby crib in the NICU, that "they're all mine!"


Those are my five moments - now it's your turn. If your life flashed before your eyes, what are 5 moments you know would be included?

She wants more applesauce!

When you have speech delayed toddlers, a new sign language sign used spontaneously is wonderful. We still get really excited when Princess or Angel triplets choose to sign "more" rather than simply cry for attention. While Sunshine triplet is moving forward and adding new words to her vocabulary every day it seems, we're still waiting for the same "light bulb" to click on with our other two.

At the last play group though, Angel triplet blew her teacher, Tripped Up Daddy and others away. She asked for more applesauce - "Mo appa." It was as clear as day. For the parent of a speech delayed toddler, this is a major victory! The same day, Princess triplet had a victory moment of her own during a diaper change. Her daddy said hi to her and asked her if she could say, "Hi Daddy." She replied by mimicking his words.

Needless to say, those communication efforts are wildly praised by us and everyone working with the girls. I do know that the girls probably attempt to speak and communicate more often than we even realize. Sometimes it's not clear enough for us to differentiate from the typical toddler babble, sometimes it's simply too soft, and sometimes we're just plain too busy to notice. But we really try to give as much positive feedback as we can to every attempt we recognize.

I think my first real introduction to speech delays or milestone delays in children was through a movie when I was young, Son-Rise: A Miracle of Love. It was about a family who had a third child (a boy after 2 girls) and they discovered he was autistic. Back then, autism was not nearly as well known or understood as it is today. The parents were working their own therapies with their son, Raun, because they weren't happy with the accepted forms of therapy out there at the time. For some reason, that movie stuck with me (I wasn't even a teenager when I saw it) and I'll never forget the moment when Raun actually asked for juice. The father, at work, received a phone call from his wife to say their son had asked, had communicated in his way, to ask for juice. Her husband got so excited that he left work immediately to go home, explaining to his boss that his son had asked for juice, while his boss looked at him incredulously saying in his wake, "and you have to go get it for him?"

For us, the "Mo appa" and "Hi Dadda" moments were just as big. We're moving beyond making sure we have solid eye contact to being able to expect some real verbal communication. I think all three of my triplets may really be talking soon!

ArtPrize - without triplets and without voting

Thanks to my lovely teen Lotte who babysat the triplets during their long afternoon nap today, Tripped Up Daddy and I were finally able to attend ArtPrize, a radically open art competition, during its last weekend. Voting was over for the contest, the winners already selected, so we were just there to view and enjoy art. We wanted to see the top winner's piece (which I did find a little underwhelming, personally) and beyond that, took everything else as it came. We took a lovely walk through a sculpture area and toured three separate venues while we were there. I must admit, doing ArtPrize without the triplets in tow was a little bit like heaven. Imagine our first year visiting in its inaugural year with a triplet stroller - we actually did make it into about 2 indoor venues, the rest, well it was mostly seeing the sculptures. Last year, slightly better, 3 umbrella strollers, but the opportunity to linger at a piece and wander at will was so very nice today.

Look closely, you'll see his story

My favorite of the day was a series of portraits of older people by Lauren Taylor, portraits that were detailed with words written into the wrinkles and details of the people's faces. The words were their stories from their own interview with the artist. The artist also presented the transcript of the interview along with each portrait. I guess as a writer it's not surprising I would be impressed with this way of merging life, art, stories and people together.

Just yesterday I was afraid I wouldn't even get to attend ArtPrize at all, and for an art-loving, creative person living in West Michigan, that's a bit unthinkable. So I'm pleased we were able to attend at all. It was fine not being part of the voting this year too. It simply made it about the art, and I guess I didn't care so much about everything else. I did enjoy seeing Rain, found the recreation of President Ford a little eerie, shook my head a bit at Rusty, greatly admired Mantis Dreaming and, as always, stood in awe of what Tracy Van Duinen produced.

 I mentioned that I might actually put up some photos from last year that were still on my phone and indeed I did download a few. I don't remember the artist or exactly what the piece was supposed to present. I just remember being impressed and stopping to enjoy and to think. I felt compelled to record the moment with a photo. The emotion captured on both of these figures was intriguing to me. Again the last two are from ArtPrize 2010 - yet apparently still hold my interest.


I'm grateful for ArtPrize and the entry point it provides for many of my neighbors into art. I'm excited that Lotte is actually considering creating some of her own artwork to enter into the competition next year. I hope you have an ArtPrize type of catalyst in your home that launches you into the conversation of art and creativity too.

Between = In the meantime

When I think of the word between, it evokes transition to me - like when someone says, we're between sitters right now, or I'm between sizes, or all too often in these economic times, he's in between jobs. Transition, in the meantime, or meanwhile - they're all words I use a lot these days. Actually I think it's an excellent description of The Tripped Up Family. We're in transition in so many places, sometimes it's hard to keep count of all of them.

Sometimes the sands pass slowly

Now that Tripped Up Daddy has officially graduated, we're in a between space for him. He's looking for work, working part-time from home and watching after the triplets - which will all change, we hope, once he obtains a new job in his field. He lives now in the meantime.

I'm in my own between space with my career. I'm blogging as I can pull time away from other responsibilities. I contract full-time as a writer in an eCommerce department of a local company. I expect that will continue as a long-term assignment, but don't know how a new job (as yet unknown) for Tripped Up Daddy may affect my activities. I contemplate going back to school for an advanced degree - for what, I'm not sure or exactly how that may change my career path. I live now in the meantime.

As a child of divorce and a blended family, our teen Lotte also lives in a between space of her own. She travels between her father's house and our house regularly. As an only child in one home and the oldest of 4 in the other, she bounces between lifestyles often. She's starting to think about career choices and colleges and requirements and applications. In her own estimation, life really doesn't begin until you can drive and date, both of which aren't allowed until she's 16. She lives now in the meantime.

Our triplets are all moving forward on their milestones, some quicker than others, but they are slowly beginning to catch up. Still, there are activities that are tough to do right now because of their developmental stage (think potty training for Angel and Princess). They are roaming the house much more freely now, and that has led to both joy and frustration as they learn what's appropriate and what's not (climbing into booster seat on her own - good, climbing onto counter to pull knife out of butcher block - not a good plan). Someday our 3 busy toddlers will be really good at following directions, but we're not there yet. They live now in the meantime.

I don't know how long each of these meantime situations will last, but I know they won't last forever. I hope I can live in the present enough to learn every valuable aspect I should while we live in the meantime.

Random acts of mothers and strangers

Have you ever reached the end of a day, looked back, and thought, "OMG, everything I did, all day long, was so random, I have no idea what I actually accomplished?" 

Ummm, "Tripped up," you say, "that's MOTHERHOOD, didn't you get the memo?"

When I stayed home full-time with the triplets for their first 15 months, I really did sense that randomness every day. It was only as I was able to pull away here and there from the constant needs of the baby x3 world, that I could begin to see those random acts adding up to something more, something that could be considered vital, as vital as helping babies to someday become people who can help change the world. (That may be the longest run-on sentence I've ever written in my life, but that's also how those days felt too).

A recent errand Saturday brought up another view of random. It began with a shopping excursion that may seem random, but is actually intentional. It's hard to get our toddlers out and into the world often, especially when we take all 3, but it's important for their development to see new surroundings and have new experiences. It's also important for us to give prime attention to one at a time. So every Saturday I try to take one triplet with me on what we call a "singleton outing." It usually involves the farmer's market, grocery store or other errand and may include lunch out with mom. Saturday's was Sunshine's turn.

A simple trip to the mall to return an item, lunch, and grocery shopping was on the docket. It started out okay in the van. Then a (lunchtime is nearing) start time, toddler slightly battling a cold, and the long ride through a construction zone culminated in some edgy behavior at the second waiting line. As we waited, I did what every mother would when a temper tantrum feels 10 seconds away and she’s just 1 person away from being helped. Talk, distract, hold, smile, sing, tickle, and finally ignore the fists being pounded on the floor in frustration. Two women interacted with me at that time (besides the clerk). The one was clearly full of disdain for a mother who couldn’t control her nearly 3-year-old at noon in a department store waiting line. The other smiled and said, “I have days like that sometimes.” I mentioned this was one of our triplets and was a special outing just her and I, but she seemed a little “off her game today.” It seemed to impress the kinder lady, while solidifying my inability to parent for the other. (Keep in mind, there was never an out and out tantrum, just some frustration from a toddler who would have been completely happy to hold my hand and walk around the store or to be pushed in a moving stroller – JUST DON’T MAKE HER WAIT IN LINE!) We managed to finish the errand in relative short order without irritating too many people and then it was off to Red Robin for lunch.

Sunshine and I truly enjoyed each other at lunch. Get a little food in a hungry toddler's belly and it's amazing how quickly edgy behavior can disappear. We practiced talking, we looked at colors, she ate a very soupy macaroni & cheese meal with a big girl spoon and loved it all - especially the pink balloon at the end. I went to pay for our meal and here's really where random comes in. 

"Actually," the server said, "that's all taken care of."

"What?" I said.

"You don't have to pay, that was taken care of for you," she replied.

"By who? I don't know anyone here," as I looked around, confused. (I don't live in a huge city or anything, but my metro area is too big to always meet a neighbor every time you go out).

"It's a secret," she answered. "Don't question it, just enjoy it, and have a great day."

One of my dear friends, D, who is the most generous woman I know and also has much to share, often feels impressed by God to buy a random stranger's lunch, or something like that. I've seen it happen and it's beautiful, but D was nowhere near that restaurant - I know that. I did think I may have glimpsed that kind lady from the check-out line out of the corner of my eye, but really I'm not sure. I have no idea who bought our lunch that Saturday; I can tell you the gift sure put a smile on my face.

Have you ever been the giver or the recipient of a random act of kindness? Have you ever felt like the random acts of motherhood weigh you down so much that you forget the bigger picture and what you're doing with all the random (cleaning kitchen floor, again, changing dirty diaper that was clean just 5 minutes ago, washing same dirty t-shirt) sort of activities? I'd love to read your stories!

Give toddlers room to grow

and amazing things happen... they start turning into preschoolers right before your very eyes.

When you have triplets, containment can be your best friend, like a fenced-in backyard, a triplet wagon, high chairs, a 12' baby gate, you know, the basics. When you struggle with milestone delays with the same triplet toddlers, containment can also be part of the problem.

Recently Tripped Up Daddy decided it was time to remove the biggest baby gate in our household. I don't know that I was completely ready for that, honestly. It meant little girls running with wild abandon throughout the house and anything not "safely out of reach" would be fair game. Maybe not so scary for those who find it easy to keep a neat house, but unfortunately the Tripped Up Family tends to be more "cluttered" than "spartan" in our decorating techniques. So this new world of "no major gate" was pretty intimidating.

Amazingly enough, it really was the perfect time to allow more freedom to the girls. All 3 of the girls seem to be advancing rapidly in development now (with little to no scary side effects - you know, like broken limbs, cracked heads, or cut fingers). They love the opportunity to roam and chase each other, climb up and downstairs at will, explore the kitchen while we cook, and chase the cats with greater ease. It's been so much fun that just two days after the "wall came down," I said, "let's pull the booster seats out and have the girls sit right up at the table for meals." So we did, and now we feel so much more like a family of 6 instead of a family of 3 and 3. It feels good and in some ways it's easier, and in some ways it's harder.

Raising triplet toddlers seems a lot like gardening. You never are completely sure when it's the ideal time to transplant a houseplant into a bigger pot, but there does come a point when there's no other choice. If you don't move a growing plant to a larger location where it can spread its roots, it will stop growing and could even die. Perhaps it didn't take a public figure like Ronald Reagan to say "tear down this wall" in our home, but I think we do realize the girls were getting a little "root-bound," if you will. Today, they have a lot more freedom to grow.

And yet, if you ask Tripped Up Daddy today, at this very moment, whether he supports his decision or not, you might get a different answer. Today's fun activities included: Princess triplet taking off pj's and dirty diaper in middle of living room while he was gathering clothes for day upstairs (who knows where that tush went), Angel triplet climbing onto top of changing table, then proceeding to pull all the baby wipes out of box and throwing them everywhere while he was making lunch, Princess triplet grabbing all the lunch plates off the counter and throwing them on the floor as Daddy rushed to rescue Angel. I haven't heard anything specific about Sunshine triplet, but there may be stories when I get home.

I think Tripped Up Daddy wants the gate back today. Instead, I think the next step is potty training, in triplicate.

It's here! It's here!

And we can hardly contain our excitement! But we must. If we open it, we'll put together. If we put together. it will be that much harder to hide for the next 2 months.

It's the major birthday present for the triplets this year. They turn 3 this November. 

No, trust me, it's more than a box. Although, sometimes with the way the triplets play and fight over boxes, that may be an even better present. Certainly much cheaper.

Thanks to Pampers and the Gifts to Grow Rewards program, however, we are adding another Radio Flyer toy to our toy-filled home. It's the Radio Flyer Big Flyer to be exact. We earned the 5075 points needed to order it, all through our purchases of diapers and wipes. Since each wipe refill package is worth 5 points, that gives you an idea how long we've worked, or more realistically, how many diapers and wipes triplets really need.

The next time you see the Radio Flyer Big Flyer on this blog, it will have a HUGE pink bow on it. Maybe even 3 little girls with pigtails looking it over. In the meantime, you'll have to look at it here.